tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82897361898793860472012-01-23T04:46:36.219-05:00Knoxville working mama commentary on family life and everyday happenings500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.comBlogger5831100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-51091411670820938142012-01-19T18:38:00.004-05:002012-01-20T09:44:08.135-05:00

On seeing the Knoxville Opera's billboard for an upcoming version of Romeo and Juliette: Boy Wonder:  Mom, what's Romeo and Juliet? Me:  Well, it's a tragic love story about two young people.  They're in love, but their families hate each other, and the young people end up dying because their families can't get along.  Then their families are really torn up.  It's a famous play, by William

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-10986159431097156152012-01-11T06:00:00.001-05:002012-01-11T06:00:03.657-05:00

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-51336688426501075322012-01-10T06:00:00.013-05:002012-01-10T12:37:36.142-05:00

A picture of Miss M and her besty first cousin, Laura, on a hike this past Christmas at the family farm. Here they are at the beach several years ago.  The girls are growing up!

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-21182079231378638622012-01-09T06:00:00.000-05:002012-01-09T06:00:09.867-05:00

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-38817157820975691902012-01-01T20:46:00.002-05:002012-01-01T20:58:35.854-05:00

The 500Jerk front door is in need of a new doormat, having lost the last one to the insatiable coir-loving Posymonster.  We have an opportunity to personalize the mat and I, for one, don't mean to squander that opportunity.  A simple "Welcome" seems a bit sedate.  I offer you the following alternatives for consideration: A nice regional flair, mais non?  I do so like a down-home touch.  Or

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-56448067793493066022011-12-31T08:56:00.004-05:002012-01-01T20:13:07.587-05:00

The 500Jerk family has taken to doing shots together lately. Shots of chocolate milk, that is. A quick slurp of some of the absolutely delicious chocolate milk offerings on the market these days is guaranteed to lift the spirits AND your blood sugar. Really, I'm not sure why anyone would choose any other kind of shot, when chocolate milk is so obviously superior. Of course, we had to have

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-67200883902887078102011-12-30T08:33:00.018-05:002012-01-01T08:51:30.195-05:00

My sister-in-law, Beth, is one of my very favorite people--an endless source of funny stories, good advice, and gentle guidance.  She is unbelievably patient, always kind, and game for almost any sort of adventure.  I love my time with her and wish she didn't live four hours away.   Did I mention that she and her husband have seven (yes, SEVEN) children, all home-schooled?  Their house in

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-57972757498812078582011-12-29T08:52:00.002-05:002012-01-01T08:54:55.802-05:00

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-30321299687344276412011-12-28T08:19:00.000-05:002012-01-01T08:55:23.137-05:00

At 8 and 9, the Timmys continue to delight and amuse each other. When we have family get togethers, as we did over Christmas break, the Timmys do everything in tandem: they eat together, play together, watch TV together, and wake and sleep together. They are first cousins, about the same height, prone to crack each other up, and each has a high-pitched voice that--if put to use--can actually

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-74364649189182275752011-12-27T07:40:00.000-05:002011-12-27T07:40:15.866-05:00

We spent Christmas at the family farm in western North Carolina, and although the photo below makes the Farm appear rather bleak, there was much merriment, singing, and feasting in celebration of Christmas and a nephew's recent marriage to a lovely California girl. We hiked, read, drank coffee, slept in, and lazed around the fire. Boy Wonder and Miss M honed their ping pong skills, and my

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-18617307161232900952011-12-25T07:00:00.006-05:002011-12-27T07:41:06.879-05:00

I hope you, too, received something you love.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-66008935002788369922011-12-24T14:15:00.000-05:002011-12-24T14:15:44.401-05:00

The 500Jerk kids with their Grandma B on Christmas Eve.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-10326881531978740222011-12-22T05:56:00.034-05:002011-12-22T14:43:45.217-05:00

Our recent trip to the Chicago area for a family wedding included a ride on a double-decker commuter train.   SOMEbody was really ecstatic about this.  OK, I'll give you a hint:  it was a highly excitable eight year-old boy.  Please compare and contrast facial expressions of excitable boy and completely unfazed commuter dude sitting behind excitable boy. I love that enthusiasm. Boy Wonder

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-60471262945678664462011-12-20T07:21:00.007-05:002011-12-22T14:39:52.974-05:00

On our way north to Chicago last weekend, we stopped in at Muth's in Louisville, Kentucky, for a quick early morning candy fix.  I read about Muth's earlier this year in Saveur (see here), and given that points Southeast are rarely featured in the magazine, filed it away as a potential destination. Muth's is an old-fashioned Louisville candy institution known for its bourbon balls and

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-4384821160639202122011-12-19T20:14:00.001-05:002012-01-01T20:24:58.339-05:00

A dramatic and gorgeous photograph of the newest-wedded members of our extended family. Aren't they beautiful?

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-52080513079246209962011-12-19T07:50:00.001-05:002011-12-19T07:57:23.065-05:00

Boy Wonder has been spearheading our household's Christmas campaign this year with his Christmas-tree decorating initiative and tireless focus on potential Legos Christmas gifts. Given that decorating the Christmas tree this year seems like one more chore I have yet to accomplish, I am so thankful for the Boy's cheerful dedication to the task.  Every day, he breaks out a few more ornaments, and

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-55302519087396041662011-12-06T21:39:00.003-05:002011-12-06T21:52:30.064-05:00

We're considering all kinds of middle-school options for Miss M over here at Chez 500Jerk.  Which led to this discussion today: Me: "How about home-schooling next year?  What do you think about that?" Miss M:  "I think I will become a lonely nub." The Spouse:  "Well, how about homeschooling . . . and a hamster?" Miss M:  "I will be a lonely nub WITH A HAMSTER.  Look, it's the circle of life.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-78010645287212853252011-11-29T21:23:00.001-05:002011-12-06T21:30:26.138-05:00

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-31596818914047387722011-11-18T12:33:00.000-05:002011-11-18T12:33:20.629-05:00

A vampire marriage, an ongoing blood feud with Italian bloodsuckers, jealous werewolves, love, lust, a violent birth of a half-vampire, oh yeah, the Twilight melodrama continues with the release of Breaking Dawn today.  My friend, A., Fandango'd the tickets two days ago, so you know where I'll be tonight: front and center at the Regal downtown cinema.  And though it's goofy and sophomoric, I

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-49254989770927498052011-11-17T15:51:00.000-05:002011-11-17T15:51:43.290-05:00

A friend is struggling with existential ennui—why are we here? What’s our purpose? Why do we keep trying so hard?  To what end?  How does one go about living a passionate and sincere life?   I don’t have any good answers, but here’s a list of things that fuel me: Pride Habit Children Weekends Money Fear Coffee Prosaic all, 'tis true, but currently keeping me off the Prozac.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-66063558038333298672011-11-16T14:06:00.000-05:002011-11-16T14:06:58.448-05:00

A friend with younger children recently asked The Spouse whether there's any alternative to the insanity of driving kids to and from a bunch of activities, spending half your free hours in transit. The Spouse’s answer was succinct: Sure. You can let your kids sit on a couch all afternoon, playing video games and getting fat. How’s that? Ummm . . . not a good alternative. I must note, though,

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-5507178124381927032011-11-15T11:51:00.003-05:002011-11-15T16:46:28.041-05:00

Although I have promised my kids $3 per week each in allowance, I almost always forget to give it to them. This results in situations like this morning, when Miss M suddenly claimed “back” allowance of $27 in preparation for a school field trip involving a stop at Knoxville’s Mast General Store.* Where she basically blew the entire amount on a sock monkey that will end up under her bed and

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-49761841798578870622011-11-14T14:05:00.002-05:002011-11-15T09:57:30.281-05:00

If you’re waxing nostalgic and think Tom Hanks’s Big might be the movie to see with your elementary school-age children, a note of caution: In addition to charming FAO Schwartz scenes, Big includes a bunch of bad language. Which led to this conversation with eight year-old Boy Wonder last night: Boy Wonder: Mom, what’s an asshole? Me: [. . . .] Boy Wonder [trying it out]: Asshole, asshole,

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-69304893877330149932011-11-01T09:27:00.007-05:002011-11-16T14:03:10.531-05:00

At ten, Miss M is now in her last year of the small elementary school she has attended since she was three years old. How I have loved the Thackston School—the kind attentiveness to its students; the flexibility and accommodation for working parents; and the community sense of fun and belonging for both. It’s been a great experience, and I’m glad third-grade Boy Wonder still has more than two

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-28072111260191648282011-10-19T06:00:00.000-05:002011-10-19T17:53:06.484-05:00

We spent a long weekend with friends at the family farm in Western North Carolina, where we enjoyed the suddenly cool fall weather and time outdoors. There were evening campfires, waterfalls, singing, ping-pong tournaments, jack-o-lantern carvings, fishing, hiking, and a once-in-a-lifetime encounter with an unusually friendly bottle-fed baby donkey.   Miss M was seriously pleased that a

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-40066525899574648932011-10-18T07:00:00.008-05:002011-10-18T09:08:29.435-05:00

Only seven or eight, but already able to tell some tall fish tales:

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-450305704301613702011-10-17T16:42:00.002-05:002011-10-18T07:54:08.842-05:00

Following my return to the office after a quick afternoon run, it occurred to me there are a number of questions that don’t need answering. That the questions are purely rhetorical, absurd, or part of a larger argument and that the answers are obvious. To wit: Do I smell as bad as I think do? This one has particular relevance in the office setting following afternoon exercise. How does this

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-60456297692926137412011-10-11T07:00:00.013-05:002011-10-11T12:49:27.571-05:00

So, people, camping.   Camping is pretty much my new favorite thing, the result of spending half my life penned inside an office tower with windows that don't open.  NEED. ME. SOME. FRESH. AIR.    Sleeping on the ground not for you?  Listen, I've gotten camping creature comforts down to a fine art, and you can, too: waterproof tent, lamp, sleeping pad, travel pillow, warm sleeping bag, Kindle

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-84513531862726612192011-10-09T18:10:00.001-05:002011-10-09T18:54:17.659-05:00

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-90187707630534215672011-10-03T07:00:00.024-05:002011-10-03T13:01:24.005-05:00

On our way north to Baltimore several weekends ago, the 500Jerk family visited Monticello, home of Thomas Jefferson and kin.  Why, here's the handsome fellow himself. I have mixed feelings about Mr. Jefferson, author of the magic words invoking liberty in the Declaration of Independence AND slaveowner.  What I like on an unqualified level about Mr. Jefferson, however, is the vegetable garden at

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-54756134224360354812011-09-21T07:56:00.000-05:002011-09-21T07:56:33.352-05:00

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-53608897630219200072011-09-08T02:00:00.059-05:002011-09-08T09:05:42.349-05:00

Thanks to Natalie, a church-van driving, speeding ticket-prone Berea College professor who visited Chez 500Jerk one fun evening this past summer, I'm listening to and loving Sigh No More, by Mumford & Sons. Holy smokes, I love the sound of this gritty, layered album.  It does have a doleful, Irish dirge-like quality, so my elementary school-age kids in no way share the Mumford love.  "Noooooo,"

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-38428737844384423222011-09-07T02:00:00.003-05:002011-09-07T15:28:36.176-05:00

At the grocery store late Monday afternoon, when I'd had all I could take of Boy Wonder's repeated pleas for junk food: Me:  No, we can't get those cookies.  You know what?  Stop talking so much, Boy Wonder.  You're making me crazy. Boy Wonder:  But, MOM.  That's EXACTLY why I'm talking so much.  SO I CAN TALK SOME SENSE INTO YOU.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-40571854563357612302011-09-06T08:28:00.004-05:002011-09-08T06:22:44.914-05:00

The entire 500Jerk family ventured out to the UT-Montana football game this past Labor Day weekend, the first game of the season.   It was B-L-A-Z-I-N-G hot here in East Tennessee, and the heat combined with the sea of enthusiastically bright Volunteer orange made it an altogether searing experience, retinal and otherwise.  The Spouse--a Vol enthusiast of the highest order--likes to get to

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-36388619965996856222011-09-02T09:00:00.006-05:002011-09-04T18:31:53.896-05:00

After three years of Tuesday night silliness and fun, my fearless co-leader and I decided that continuing our Girl Scout troop for another year was not in the cards. Ten year-old Miss M was dismayed, as were some of the other girls.  But basically?  Their troop leaders were out of ideas.  Except for the onerous paperwork requirements, the Girl Scouts program is fairly free-form, meaning there

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-13786172747562833752011-09-01T16:32:00.002-05:002011-09-02T09:06:52.421-05:00

Third-grade Boy Wonder wrote a fill-in-the-blank autobiographical poem the other day, so I thought I would give it a whirl: I am 500JERK (your first name) I am HARD-WORKING, IMPATIENT, and READY TO LAUGH (3 adjectives that describe you). I wonder IF I’LL EVER LIKE FOOTBALL. I pretend I AM A TENNIS STAR. I wish I DID NOT HAVE TO SLEEP. I love RAMEN NOODLES. I don't like LAWYER CLOTHES. I want A

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-39053867540071343752011-08-30T06:00:00.000-05:002011-08-30T16:20:53.739-05:00

From the 500Jerk kids' grouchy tennis teacher, who really seems to detest children:  "Hold your arm up like someone's put a knife to you.  And I wouldn't rule that out."

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-34315011791259788192011-08-29T18:08:00.014-05:002011-08-30T16:14:59.336-05:00

Boy Wonder (8):  I heard Facebook is bad because it has that cyber-, cyber-, cyber- . . .  what's it? Miss M (10, bored): Cyberbullying. Boy Wonder:  Yeah!  Cyberbullying.  CYBERBULLYING.  It's so BAD.  Miss M (drily):  Let me guess, Weekly Reader? Boy Wonder:  How'd you know? Miss M:  Because they're always talking about cyberbullying in the Weekly Reader.  It's cyberbullying, or icebergs

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-87524053148137341952011-08-26T08:41:00.002-05:002011-08-26T08:47:40.164-05:00

Although life takes unexpected twists and turns—and sometimes the very earth moves—here are ten constants I can count on: 1. I will never, EVER wear a cape.  Just . . . no. 2. A smog-laden, oppressively hot August is the burden of otherwise glorious living in East Tennessee. 3. People smile more on Fridays.  See Related Item 9, infra. 4. The very sight of my children lifts my spirits.  See

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-84948802541763890492011-08-24T12:05:00.010-05:002011-09-07T07:55:43.265-05:00

Lovely Dinner Guest: May I have one of the delicious hamburgers you cooked for me and your other dinner guests so I can feed it to my dog at home? Me (hand on heart): Why, that’s so nice of you to ask. I take that as a compliment. Lovely Dinner Guest: You’re so very welcome. Me:   . . . Lovely Dinner Guest:  I'm sensing some reluctance on your part.  Perhaps, have I overstepped?  Me (

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-14243412576095934602011-08-23T08:00:00.001-05:002011-08-23T08:01:44.174-05:00

Miss M:  I like that you're driving us to school now, Mom. Me:  Really, why?  Miss M: Because Dad always made us listen to Sports Talk.  That show is awful.  And he's always all, "What do you mean? This show is GREAT." Me:  Hunh.  Because of Sports Talk.  So, not because of my sparkling personality? Miss M:  Uh, no.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-69592310837453880602011-08-22T12:22:00.001-05:002011-08-22T12:38:38.405-05:00

Boy Wonder composed a fill-in-the-blank autobiographical poem during his first week of third grade: I am TIMMY (your first name) I am AWSOME, SMART, and ENERGIC (3 adjectives that describe you). I wonder WHY I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING. I pretend I CAN DO THE SPLITS. I wish I HAD 10 DOGS. I love PIZZA. I don't like RATATOUILLE. I want A LEGO. I feel GOOD. I try TO WIN. I worry about NOTHING. I

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-31766977131803543952011-08-19T09:11:00.001-05:002011-08-19T10:38:56.306-05:00

After a summer totally wasted on 5000 pages of an overwrought fantasy series, I've now turned to what I hope will be a better read. I enjoyed Seabiscuit, so have high hopes for Unbroken.   I'm also looking forward to reading Alexandra Fuller's Cocktail Hour Under the Tree of Forgetfulness this fall. Any other book recommendations out there?

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-71398028367998020692011-08-18T11:09:00.008-05:002011-08-18T12:18:20.627-05:00

Tennis, I love you,But you drive me crazy. My Game is sometimes on, Sometimes off. And thereIs no rhyme or reason toIt. I roll the dice And see what comes next.Why so unpredictable?It's the puzzle that Keeps me coming back. More of my silly haiku  here, here, and here.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-41355226815408931622011-08-17T06:00:00.001-05:002011-08-17T06:00:04.769-05:00

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-41921629771154377832011-08-16T08:06:00.009-05:002011-08-16T18:07:06.997-05:00

Now that Boy Wonder has reached the ripe old age of eight, his third-grade teacher has proposed to call him “Tim,” rather than the more childish “Timmy.” It’s all very well-intentioned and an effort to help Boy Wonder feel (and hopefully, act) more grown-up. Trouble is, the Boy does not have an ounce of self-importance in him, so calling him an adult's name is unlikely to make him feel older or

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-66932218424274721352011-08-15T12:56:00.001-05:002011-08-15T13:40:41.868-05:00

During the awards ceremony at Knoxville Racquet Club's swim banquet last night: “Now, for the most improved category.  This award goes to an 8 and under boy who started his first summer at KRC not being a strong swimmer. At the beginning of the summer we had to watch him while he swam, because the coaches weren’t always sure he would make it across the pool–he was actually a little bit of a

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-79417937570812553982011-08-11T06:00:00.015-05:002011-08-26T08:55:05.691-05:00

As I've written before, the 500Jerk kids swam for the KRC swim team this summer.  And in the interests of full disclosure, let me be clear that only Boy Wonder swam the entire summer.  Miss M swam for half the summer, and then only after we bribed her with a video gaming system.   Yes, BRIBED.  Don't judge. After all the many practices and meets, Knoxville summer swim programs culminate in one

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-52688662878693805232011-08-10T21:27:00.001-05:002011-08-11T09:13:59.727-05:00

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-86911095463239618682011-08-08T07:00:00.005-05:002011-08-08T14:05:00.890-05:00

Our recent rafting trip down Utah's Green River began with an early morning flight in a single-engine plane to a put-in point about eighty miles upriver. I don't know about you, but when pilots start asking about each passenger's weight, I lose confidence in air travel safety.  Our pilot seemed confident and capable, though. Also, he was at least 55 years old, so I comforted myself with the (

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-76110196508936646492011-08-07T20:30:00.004-05:002011-08-07T08:15:54.911-05:00

Our sweet eighteen-year old niece, Elizabeth, spent the summer living with us and nannying the 500Jerk kids before leaving for college this past weekend. And by "nannying" I mean ferrying kids to and from the Knoxville Racquet Club about eight times a day and regularly breaking up sibling fisticuffs. This picture represents a sanitized ideal of the summer: But this picture may be a more accurate

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-20971757119555858352011-08-06T19:53:00.005-05:002011-08-06T20:10:34.257-05:00

As the 500Jerk Spouse attempted to enjoy a child-free Saturday morning stroll through downtown Knoxville:Me: You know what? You have GOT to walk faster. You are AMBLING. I'm just not made for leisurely ambling. It's not in my DNA.Spouse (amused): I'll tell you what, though. COMPLAINING. You've got that one down.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-75882078849632890582011-08-05T19:10:00.013-05:002011-08-06T20:55:19.398-05:00

Our house has been overrun with kids this week, two of mine, three cousins, and an extra friend thrown in here and there. It's been loud, messy, and fun. But today they all packed up in a car together and drove away for a week. At -5 people, the chaos level in the 500Jerk house is way down, and we miss them. This is how the normally stoic 500Jerk Spouse's first phone call started out with the

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-40940925832988379132011-07-28T15:09:00.002-05:002011-07-28T15:16:26.142-05:00

As I walked downstairs in a distracted rush this morning—e-mails piling up on my Blackberry and late for work AGAIN—my eight year-old son, who was sitting at the kitchen counter happily eating his cereal, opened his arms and beamed at me. It stopped me in my tracks. And I thought to myself, realistically speaking, how much longer will Boy Wonder be so glad to see me that he spontaneously throws

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-81841631508054040792011-07-16T20:20:00.007-05:002011-07-16T20:34:06.099-05:00

Ancestral Pueblan petroglyph, Desolation Canyon, Utah (circa 1200 AD?): Digital photograph, Desolation Canyon, Utah (July 2011):Even though centuries separate us, I love how we're looking at the same things.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-39541591139024788482011-07-15T06:00:00.000-05:002011-07-15T09:08:06.695-05:00

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-69103317027357139132011-07-13T06:00:00.008-05:002011-07-15T09:12:21.602-05:00

The 500Jerk family recently returned from an action-packed rafting vacation way west, in Moab, Utah, where we also visited Arches and Canyonlands National Parks. Utah's rugged, dry terrain is very different from lush East Tennessee. And July in Moab is . . . pretty hot. Actually, at a routine daytime high of 106, it's about twenty degrees hotter than hot.But grand and beautiful and old. You can

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-8884056927711015702011-07-11T20:05:00.006-05:002011-07-11T21:15:13.386-05:00

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-41466812779870760062011-06-07T06:19:00.005-05:002011-06-19T13:24:54.222-05:00

We're taking a more relaxed approach to summer than in years past and have our seventeen year-old niece, Elizabeth, babysitting the 500Jerk children at the pool and around town. While I've loved sending my children to Knoxville day camps, camp often feels a lot like school, especially with a hard start time at 8:30AM. In the mid-summer morning frenzy of getting kids ready to get out the door,

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-27763100608018189392011-05-06T14:45:00.003-05:002011-06-19T13:24:54.223-05:00

Hurray for Miss M!

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-81905750348677304792011-05-05T13:45:00.002-05:002011-06-19T13:24:54.963-05:00

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-85678282694353314432011-05-05T09:07:00.006-05:002011-06-19T13:24:54.223-05:00

I seriously love that my ten year-old daughter now has opinions on just about everything. On the way home from school yesterday:Me: So, Miss M, I wondered whether you might want to join a church youth group. You know, to meet other girls your age.Miss M (firmly): No.Me: Wait--are you sure?Miss M: Yes, I'm done with joining things.Me: What do you mean?Miss M: I mean I don't want to join any more

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-32117993929465493722011-05-04T06:00:00.002-05:002011-06-19T13:24:54.223-05:00

Seeing a tree go down makes me sad. Of course, I know it could have been much, much worse. And I'm thankful for what we have.But still--a tree is a lovely, graceful thing, and it's sad to lose one.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-47590642138776844812011-04-26T08:50:00.004-05:002011-05-04T06:55:28.650-05:00

Storms ripped through our tree-filled neighborhood yesterday evening, downing trees and power lines and generally making for some exciting times in Knoxville. I was still in my downtown office building when the power went out. Once there’s no power in a tall building, it gets very, very quiet. No computer or elevator hum, no phones ringing, no printers printing, no piped-in music. Just QUIET. And

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-46595567170686793062011-04-19T10:06:00.004-05:002011-04-19T12:53:22.205-05:00

1. I don’t like to lose.2. Or play poorly.3. Or let my hard-working doubles partner down.4. But mostly?5. I don’t like to lose.6. My right wrist is killing me.7. I’m additionally pained by my serious level of tennis suckitude.8. Why, for example, can I not control the urge to hit EVERY ball? I’m like a ball-frenzied Labrador retriever out there. It’s on my side? I’ll get it. It’s on your side? I’

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-37989487113206217562011-04-18T06:00:00.001-05:002011-04-18T06:00:07.654-05:00

We have found the perfect t-shirt for Boy Wonder, one that personifies him and provides a ready excuse when he does something wrong. Will his next t-shirt have black and white horizontal stripes? With matching pants? Stay tuned.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-43285995907405511582011-04-15T15:43:00.005-05:002011-04-17T13:29:10.255-05:00

The 500Jerk children take a weekly etiquette class at their wonderful elementary school, and this week, Miss M and Boy Wonder brought home a handout listing twenty-five rules of social behavior a child should know by age nine. Most of the rules make perfect sense and, if followed, would undoubtedly make the world a better place. With one exception: “No. 6. Do not complain. The world is not

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-25388658796830104142011-04-13T06:00:00.001-05:002011-04-13T06:00:06.640-05:00

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-21642427406948880572011-04-12T06:30:00.000-05:002011-04-12T08:43:08.809-05:00

Two recent blog posts that may interest those of you with daughters: one in the NYT, on body image, Do As I Say, Not As I Do (with a shout-out to Girls on the Run, one of my favorite after-school programs); the other on embracing your inner princess, Searching for My Crown.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-30714714009590191292011-04-11T06:45:00.002-05:002011-04-11T06:45:00.775-05:00

You wouldn't know it from the photo, but he's doing all this AND talking a mile a minute.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-11663008775781879652011-04-08T06:35:00.004-05:002011-04-08T20:00:59.314-05:00

After a LOOOONG winter of papier-mache and indoor red light/green light, Miss M's Girl Scout troop was agitating for an outdoor adventure. So last Sunday, the troop hiked House Mountain, the highest spot in Knox County. It was an absolutely gorgeous spring day here in East Tennessee, and my rumpled little friends got off to an early start. Everyone was raring to go. Some mothers even joined us

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-76980298723119915272011-04-07T08:53:00.003-05:002011-04-07T08:57:57.143-05:00

In fact, I just bought this print for my office:

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-71914701727348492502011-04-01T20:08:00.015-05:002011-04-08T20:23:41.105-05:00

At the Fresh Market tonight, when we should already have been home for dinner: Me: Buddy, you can't have a giant eclair for a snack. You just can't. Boy Wonder: Why not? I don't want a bunch of bananas. Me: ONE banana. I said ONE banana is a good snack. Boy Wonder: No, you said a bunch of bananas. A BUNCH. Me: I did not. Boy Wonder: Yes, you did! Me: I did not. ONE. Boy Wonder: Mom, you don't

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-92833748694063582011-03-30T08:00:00.007-05:002011-03-30T09:29:30.625-05:00

The 500Jerk family started spring break 2011 with a camping trip on Cumberland Island, Georgia. The Big Genie and his tribe led the way. Although some of us are dyed in the wool campers (see slightly crazed tall man in camper hat, below), others are less certain about camping on a remote island. Take Boy Wonder, for instance, who appeared first pensive-- then concerned as an overburdened ferry

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-26017958347316462332011-03-29T07:16:00.014-05:002011-03-29T07:37:00.628-05:00

Although I have many more pictures to share, I must post this spring break 2011 photo first, because it reminds me how happy the 500Jerk family was strolling down the beach one sunny Florida morning. Those kids; they're keepers. Not to mention this one. He's a keeper, too. Smooch. More pictures soon.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-38445454947410317882011-03-23T09:32:00.010-05:002011-03-23T12:05:08.261-05:00

Despite my pitiful hand-eye coordination and total lack of game sense, I've recently taken up tennis, and this spring started playing USTA matches on a 2.0 team. The appraising Miss M wanted to know more about my ranking relative to my teammates.Me: Well, D. and A. are on our first doubles team. G. and I are the second-best doubles team.Miss M (pointedly): Second-best? Or just second?Me: Well, OK

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-4077147807944558562011-03-10T10:42:00.002-05:002011-03-10T10:50:46.149-05:00

Imagine if two strange adults refused to call for medical help when your extremely sick, drug-addicted child lay beaten and unconscious in their house, drowning in his own vomit.Imagine that these adults may have given your son the very drugs that rendered him unconscious--drugs that ultimately killed him.Justice for Henry. Please.Please.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-67348711926240308882011-02-24T06:00:00.007-05:002011-02-24T08:16:01.494-05:00

Report cards just came out, and this sparked an earnest discussion with second-grade Boy Wonder:Boy Wonder: Mom, is straight As and S minuses good enough for Stanford?Me: Probably, buddy. Just keep being diligent.Boy Wonder: What about reading logs? Does Stanford have reading logs?Me: No, no reading logs at Stanford.Boy Wonder: Good. [Thinking hard.] Because that's a problem.Boy Wonder isn't the

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-74051067161831303952011-02-23T20:25:00.002-05:002011-02-23T20:29:49.443-05:00

Check out this NYT article discussing two of my favorite bloggers, Heather Armstrong of Dooce and Katie Allison Granju of Mamapundit.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-71444172954291246372011-02-23T15:38:00.005-05:002011-02-23T16:50:34.301-05:00

OK, Interwebs, I'm down to the wire and need your help with a spring break possibility. Here are the criteria:1. Can't be too cold.2. Or too hot.3. Or involve man-sized lizards.4. Must offer variety of things for people ages eight through forty-three to enjoy, including killer pool, indigenous crafts, beautiful scenery, action-packed adventure, fine food, and friendly people.5. Bonus points for

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-45365418034313875462011-02-21T20:03:00.005-05:002011-02-22T16:22:42.628-05:00

At eight, Boy Wonder is still very quotable.Also? A little bit gross. How does part of a burger end up in your pocket, anyway? Wait--I don't really want to know the answer to that.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-69161599259176036242011-02-18T08:00:00.005-05:002011-02-18T10:35:08.442-05:00

My handsome, sweet, zany boy turned eight today. At eight, he loves helicopters, Legos, birds, nutcrackers, rocks, coins, and I'm a bit chagrined to say, pretend swords and crossbows. Oh, and ice cream cake.I have no doubt that Boy Wonder has made us laugh at least once every single day since the day he was born. 365 x 8 = 2920. That's a lot of joy. Happy Birthday, buddy! We love you!

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-48691412390311580192011-02-16T07:50:00.006-05:002011-02-16T08:23:55.073-05:00

Remember Boy Wonder's interest in Greek mythology? Well, when second-grade book report time rolled around again, he decided to create a diorama of his current favorite: Helen of Troy.See the Greeks hidden inside the Lego Trojan horse? And the Trojans peeking out of the gate? And Helen and the Greek gods presiding over it all?This is Boy Wonder's account of Helen of Troy:"There was this girl who

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-78490570832815418242011-02-15T09:27:00.011-05:002011-02-15T09:52:38.463-05:00

My daughter is now ten, going on fourteen, or forty maybe, a wise woman and fretful child rolled into one amazing, beautiful, smart, spunky girl.These days, she drives us crazy with her rudeness (and, truly, when it comes to her younger brother, her unprovoked meanness), then turns around and charms us with four or five hours of exemplary behavior, hiking and planning a family garden. She craves

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-73827929458059617832011-02-13T18:57:00.005-05:002011-02-13T19:47:48.290-05:00

In addition to being a talented writer, my bloggy friend, AppyLove, is one of the beautiful voices behind Count This Penny, a tuneful Appalachian story-song band with roots in Johnson City, Tennessee.I've been enjoying Count This Penny's first EP, I'm Gone, almost nonstop for the last few weeks. I especially love the title track, I'm Gone, which you can check out here.Count This Penny will be

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-87024299947297258382011-02-11T09:56:00.005-05:002011-02-15T10:46:21.786-05:00

Tonight I am escorting tween Miss M and friends to the opening show of Justin Bieber’s concert documentary, Never Say Never. Given The Bieb’s star status, the movie theater is bound to be filled with shrieking pre-teen girls in Uggs and North Face jackets. Pray for me, people. We have Fandango’d tickets and agreed on the candy we will secret in and, afterwards, we'll have a fine dining experience

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-62312156429433080732011-01-24T12:13:00.004-05:002011-01-24T12:25:31.862-05:00

A rather serious discussion with Boy Wonder after listening to Roseanne Cash sing Long Black Veil:Boy Wonder: Does the electric chair kill people?Me: Yes. But only the government uses it. Sometimes a crime is so bad, buddy, that the government kills the criminal.Boy Wonder: But why do they kill them? People should protect other people!Me: Yes, that’s a sensible reaction. If killing is wrong, why

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-75798329728178881902011-01-11T10:07:00.001-05:002011-01-11T10:09:03.701-05:00

After dropping Miss M off at a sleepover last night:Boy Wonder: Can we stop at the grocery store? For a special treat for me?Me: What kind of special treat?Boy Wonder: I want to buy Mentos.Me: Mentos? Why?Boy Wonder: Because they’re good.Me: Hunh.Boy Wonder: And I’ve got money. My own money. AND I’M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-37004917733144014732010-12-21T10:00:00.005-05:002010-12-21T10:13:18.516-05:00

For her tenth birthday, Miss M received as a gift a kitchen tool that has no purpose other than to make cupcakes: the Sunbeam Cupcake Maker.I've heard plenty of online and in-person kitchenistas lament the cabinet space occupied by single-purpose kitchen appliances, but this one (pardon the expression) really takes the cake. It is cumbersome, hot, and heavy. It takes up an inordinate amount of

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-25489988770455092372010-12-20T07:31:00.006-05:002010-12-20T17:19:35.884-05:00

After a long dry spell of little to read but the blindingly tiny font on my Blackberry, I'm reading the second book in Suzanne Collins's young adult series, The Hunger Games.Given The Hunger Games' futuristic take on the evils of a powerful central government and the importance of individual rights, I'm guessing that even if Ms. Collins is not a Tea Partier, she has some background in political

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-40003502423459320112010-12-19T12:00:00.011-05:002010-12-20T09:28:26.992-05:00

At ten, Miss M is--how can I say this delicately?--very much becoming her own person. But because she is still so young, I am not nearly done parenting her, a fact that seems increasingly to annoy her. I do try to be respectful, but like all parents, have my (*ahem*) lapses. And I'm certainly not above a little gamesmanship, a character flaw that led to this conversation last night:Me: Miss M,

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-35079497632907136962010-12-18T12:11:00.002-05:002010-12-19T19:18:00.186-05:00

Everyone has a job to do, and Boy Wonder takes his work seriously.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-44914360107718755982010-12-13T11:53:00.001-05:002010-12-19T19:19:24.117-05:00

So that on those sweltering summer days, I can remember how cold December 2010 was:

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-26090559183180372672010-12-12T21:15:00.003-05:002010-12-12T21:21:44.224-05:00

The 500Jerk family tromped around in the snow Sunday evening, together with Posy, a dog made for snow. It was beautiful and cold, and although I've been here twelve years, I can't recall another night when it snowed before Christmas.School is already cancelled and travel may be limited in the morning. So Monday may find us hoofing around the nabe, making snow angels and throwing snowballs.

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-12925310314640553922010-12-10T20:55:00.003-05:002010-12-10T21:04:30.659-05:00

For my friend, S., who needs a laugh.Dilemmaby David Budbill I want to befamousSo I can behumbleabout beingfamous.What good is myhumilitywhen I amstuckin thisobscurity?

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-16105342888022988072010-12-08T13:00:00.008-05:002010-12-10T21:14:31.727-05:00

Miss M: Wasn’t that funny how H.’s mother said everything in our house was like Martha Stewart’s?500Jerk: She did? What do you think she meant by that?Miss M: Umm, you know, that our house is so . . . orderly.500Jerk: Orderly?Miss M: Yeah, orderly. You know, Mom, in some houses kids are actually allowed to touch the walls. Like put their whole hands on the walls and their parents don't freak out

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-2366581343893369372010-12-07T13:10:00.015-05:002010-12-07T15:36:08.153-05:00

It’s freezing here in Knoxville, but I’m channeling my inner Scarlett O’Hara today, wearing my fabulous new La Canadienne boots.Canadians? Know something about boots. These La Canadienne boots are stylish, comfortable, waterproof, and WARM. They weren't cheap, but a friend and I scored them on Black Friday at 25% off, plus free shipping. I love them. I can dress them up with a skirt for work or

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-3860502363917378802010-12-04T20:00:00.007-05:002010-12-04T20:08:09.951-05:00

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-16679818028512326422010-12-01T12:19:00.010-05:002010-12-02T09:22:37.012-05:00

Right after the Spouse dropped an egg on the kitchen floor this morning:Spouse: You're making me nervous!500Jerk: Wait--you're saying it's MY fault you just dropped that egg?Spouse: Yes!500Jerk: How can that be my fault? You dropped it.Spouse: You're too close to me. You're FOLLOWING me. And you're being critical.500Jerk: And that caused you to drop the egg?Spouse: Yes!500Jerk: Just so you know--

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8289736189879386047.post-24107273140660661282010-11-30T08:15:00.006-05:002010-11-30T14:38:56.868-05:00

The Spouse lost his new iPad yesterday, and naturally, he is very sad about it. While I do sympathize with the Spouse, and my thrifty inner Yankee hates to lose a valuable piece of equipment, I have a strange feeling of . . . relief. Relief because the annoying electronic device that hijacked all family time is finally gone. You see, my family had become obsessed with Apple's latest electronic

500Jerkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644160258055017113noreply@blogger.com0